A Glass of Sicilian Wine After 5 Years Sober—And Why It Felt So Right

Last month, I did something really big...

My mom and I went on our dream vacation to Sicily and Greece for 3 weeks, accompanied by her boyfriend and our dear family friend. This was my mom and my first trip to Europe—we are both full-blooded Sicilians addicted to the sun and sea, which we chased for 21 days across 7 towns in Sicily, Santorini, and Athens, Greece. We found mermaid coves, black sand shores, and marble stones at the bottom of the crystal-clear Aegean Sea. We enjoyed so much pizza, pasta, fish, and every tomato we could get our hands on. I even went out on a Saturday night date with a hot Greek waiter who asked me out while having lunch in Athens.

This isn't the big thing I’m referring to, though…

The big thing I’m referring to is that I drank my first alcoholic beverage in 5 years.  

Let me back up...

Ever since I quit drinking on my 28th birthday to quit for one year, I have always left the future ambiguous. I remained unsure if I would continue to drink right after or ever again. It wasn't until the year was up and I saw how much more authentic my life had become that I continued to remain sober, and the more time that passed, the more natural I felt being sober, and the more natural I felt just being ME. Now, here we are, 5 years later, my future still unclear, but I feel ready for a safe and smart experiment. 

We planned this trip pretty quickly. It was only about one month after the gang decided "Hey, let’s go to Sicily and Greece!" that we were packing our bags and flying across the Atlantic Ocean to fulfill our Mediterranean dreams of beauty, history, food, and culture. I had visions of what experiences I wanted to have while I was there—sitting at a cafe in a sundress drinking a cappuccino, standing in front of a giant Greek temple and being warped back in time, enjoying an authentic, homemade pasta dish, and… enjoying a glass of Sicilian wine grown right out of Mt. Etna's volcanic soil.

So, I decided that I was going to allow myself to do just that—have the experiences that I envisioned for myself on this once-in-a-lifetime trip. I told myself that when the time felt right, when the opportunity arose, I would have that picture-perfect moment... I would have my glass of Sicilian wine, not seek it out, but let the right moment come. I would enjoy the experience and then leave it there, in that special place. And it was a special place, a very special place indeed. 

Day 7 of the trip

Here we are in a little town called Castellemare del Gulfo, the town that my ancestors had come from. We decided to split up that day, so just Debbie, my mom’s long-time friend and now dearly mine, and I took a 1.5-hour bus ride from our villa in San Vito Lo Capo to Castellemare. The rain had finally stopped when we arrived around 4 pm. The town was quiet, as everyone was closed up for siesta and because of the rain. Debbie and I had the town all to ourselves, it felt like. We explored the beauty of its harbor, historic sea fortress, unique residential streets with walls decorated with painted tiles, and restaurants. Charming, sophisticated, and unique vibes. There was a certain energy that was charging me up the whole time we were there—to know that my DNA came from such a magnificently beautiful place that I couldn't stop smiling and honestly cried a few times. Truthfully, I felt like a princess. I took so many pictures in front of the sea castle; I was having so much fun.

When Debbie and I sat down to dinner along the top edge of town, we could see the entire city line from our view, including the spectacular sunset that was putting on a show for us. I ordered a local, freshly-made pasta dish with every seafood you can imagine. With it, I ordered a glass of their house red wine, which was right from Castellemare del Gulfo. As I sat there beaming across from my good friend, next to the entire city against the most spectacular, colorful sky, I raised my glass to the sky, said "Salut" to my ancestors, and took a sip of the wine. 

Every last detail of the moment was perfect. One that I will never forget as long as I live.

I was on my dream vacation in Sicily with my most loved ones—no stresses, no deadlines, no hard schedules, no fear of judgment, no cars I had to drive. In my opinion, it was the perfect circumstance to enjoy an alcoholic beverage because the alcohol was not in any way being used as any crutch or escape. It was a true, isolated, specific, and personal experience that I planned for but still let happen organically. After that, I felt like I just beat the final level. This is what it looks like to me to have a healthy relationship with alcohol. When I can respect myself, be safe and smart, and truly enjoy an entire moment where alcohol isn't the star of the show.